MOVIEBOB

Escape to the Movies: "Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie"

2012-03-02T16:07:00.000-05:00

There's my Chippy.

"Intermission" follows-up on "Act of Valor"

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

AMERICAN BOB: "Lost & Founders"

2012-03-02T03:10:00.002-05:00

"Frankenweenie" Trailer

2012-03-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

The original "Frankenweenie" short-film - about a monster-movie obsessed kid who ressurects his dead dog with mad science told in as a black-and-white Frankenstein parody - is like a time-capsule of what used to make Tim Burton such and exciting voice in filmmaking.

The first trailer for the feature-length remake (still b&w, but now executed in stop-motion a'la That One Movie That Makes Us Keep Giving Burton Another Chance) hopes to recapture some of that magic; and other than insistently reminding us of "Alice in Wonderland" it seems to succeed:

Andrew Breitbart Is Dead

2012-03-01T12:34:00.001-05:00

UPDATE: As can probably be expected, Breitbart's acolytes appear quite convinced that he was assassinated - surely another victim of the Terrifying Black Man who haunts their nightmares.

No doubt, kind of a shocker.

Obviously, it's no kind of "happy" occasion when someone clocks-out at 43 leaving a wife and 4 kids behind; it's easy to forget that someone whose "public face" and/or actions lead most to consider them fairly vile human beings can be someone's father, husband, son, etc. "offstage." I won't pretend to be especially "sad" for Breitbart himself, particularly considering I remember him asking "Why do you grant a bully special status upon his death?" when Ted Kennedy passed away. But for all the negativity that surrounded the man in life, I never heard anyone call him a bad father, so I have to assume his family is crushed by their loss and I feel bad for them.

Breitbart was an early Matt Drudge ally who assisted Ariana Huffington in the creation of Huffington Post; before striking out on his own with a series of websites (most notably "Big Hollywood") supposedly aimed at combating the boogeyman of "liberal media bias." The sites became a rallying point for writers and psuedo-celebrities of the extreme political-right, and really took off a few years ago with an infusion of support for the "Tea Party" movement.

"The Bigs" and their proprietor had their most infamous moments a few years ago, when they published video clips which seemed to show Agriculture Department employee Shirley Sherrod ( making racist remarks, leading to her persecution and resignation. The video clips were later revealed to have been edited from a longer piece in order to radically change the point of Sherrod's words. A defemation lawsuit against Breitbart and his associates remains ongoing. He was also a major player in the bizzare career of James O'Keefe, the video-prankster responsible for the "undercover expose" of ACORN workers - which also wound up being based on edited/cherry-picked video evidence.

"Piranha 3DD" Has A Full Trailer

2012-02-29T15:58:00.000-05:00

I was a big fan of the first "Piranha 3D;" which I thought struck the appropriate balance between being sincerely-bad and self-consciously bad. The sequel (which apparently can't decide whether or not to actually open in theaters) seems to be leaning more on the "self-conscious" side; with David Koechner as sleazebag entreprenuer who turns what I'm assuming was supposed to have been a family water park into Hooters-style operation with strippers as lifeguards and David Hasslehoff (as himself) paid to lounge around in his "Baywatch" getup, only to see the place invaded by the prehistoric piranha from the first film.

Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames are back, the later presumed dead at the end of the first film but evidently back and sporting bionic legs outfitted with anti-piranha weaponry. I'll say this, I admire their lack of shame...

More Like It

2012-02-29T13:59:00.000-05:00

The new (final?) "Avengers" trailer has more action, more character-interaction and more "holy crap!" money shots, still playing hide-and-seek with the villains... though the post-credits beat has a pretty "WTF?" reveal.

Argue about what "that thing" is after the jump:

Well, that must be "The Leviathan" from those script-pages everyone was flipping out over a few months back. Question is, is that "something?" Fin-Fang-Foom? Giganto?

"Cowboy Ninja Viking" Is Your Next Funny-Name Theatrical-Failure

2012-02-29T00:40:00.000-05:00

Deadline reports that Universal is setting up a feature-film adaptation of the 2009 Image comic "Cowboy Ninja Viking," (which I bet get's retitled as just "C.N.V.") a riff on the Bourne setup of highly-trained, mentally-reconditioned assassins with a high(er)-concept twist: The brainwash-ees are mental-patients with Multiple Personality Disorder, the supposed benefit being that each individual personality is trained in a different discipline; hence the title character alternately has the "powers" of a Cowboy, a Ninja and a Viking (there is, apparently, also a Pirate Gladiator Ocenaographer.)

Y'know, because both "Snakes on a Plane" and "Cowboys & Aliens" were both massive, runaway boxoffice hits and all...

Hollywood? As someone who is pretty-much THE target audience for the "Ha-Ha-That-Sounds-Like-A-Fake-Thing-But-It's-A-Real-Thing-So-I-Guess-Maybe-It's-Awesome" genre you haven't figured out isn't working for you yet, lemme help you out here:

MOST OF THE AUDIENCE THAT FINDS "MEME"-STYLE HUMOR LIKE THIS TITLE FUNNY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE *NEVER* GOING TO PAY FOR IT OR ANY OTHER MOVIE YOU MAKE. YOU MAY AS WELL JUST CALL IT "PIRATE TORRENT DOWNLOAD."

Thank you for your time.

Avengers Get Butt-Ugly New Poster

2012-02-28T14:27:00.001-05:00

Marvel has been hyping a new "Avengers" trailer set to debut Wednesday all week/weekend (the screening prints of "John Carter" are starting to ship this week, so one imagines the trailer will be attached to that) and to go along with it here's a new, not-terribly-good poster.

Yeah... not very good - it's like they looked at every tired post-2000 poster cliche (for superhero movies or otherwise) and decided to use them all: Over-glossy Michael Bay "sheen?" (which doesn't match the crisp natural-daylight cinematographer we've seen so far) Check. Cap and Iron Man sans masks? Check. Dirt and embers flying around everywhere? Check. Obvious photoshop-collage with zero attempt to match light-sourcing? Check. Nobody seems to be looking-at or reacting to the same events (Cap and Widow are completely chill, something on the right is VERY disconcerting to Thor, Hulk and Hawkeye MIGHT be looking in the same general direction, none of them are noticing the giant explosion)

Check. I'm kinda wondering what's with the (by now) familiar-looking blue light-beam coming out of what I assume is Stark Tower, but otherwise? Bleh. If not for the five pretty-good feature-length trailers that preceded it, you'd have to say this movie has a pretty underwhelming ad-campaign (though at least it's not the disaster that Disney's fumbling of "John Carter's" promotion is shaping up to be...)

Big Picture: "I Don't Know"

2012-02-28T14:09:00.002-05:00

What some people don't know can fill a warehouse. What MovieBob doesn't know can fill about five minutes.

EDIT: I would be remiss not to re-mention that this week's show comes with a shout-out to Linkara and his impressively-mounted "History of Power Rangers" project.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : I Don't Know

TGO: "Why Do You Love Video Games?"

2012-02-28T04:03:00.000-05:00

Quick head's-up for those who don't always follow The Other Blog, but the NEW "Game OverThinker" is out (for ALL audiences) and I have to say I'm especially proud of this one and the overwhelmingly positive reaction it's been getting so far - especially considering this started out as a "replacement episode" to make sure I kept on schedule despite my brief illness throwing a wrench into production:

Brad Pitt's Gargantua Memory

2012-02-27T16:46:00.001-05:00

The lone bright-spot of the otherwise excerable 2012 Oscars was when Brad Pitt momentarily broke up the gooey solemnity of the evening's weirdly-unfocused "Stuff You Like About Movies I Guess I Dunno Look We Had Like A Month To Throw This Shit Together After Ratner & Murphy Imploded Hey Look Popcorn Girls" theme by waxing straight-faced nostalgiac about an obscure giant monster movie in one of the interstitials. The movie? "War of The Gargantuas" - but, then, "Big Picture" fans already knew that:

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The War of the Gargantuas

Yeah, sorta "scooped" on this by BAD - but then again this episode IS from last October...

Oscar

2012-02-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

We're about five to six hours away from the bi-annual spectacle of Hollywood lavishing an embarassing amount of praise onto a Harvey Weinstein pickup that nobody will care about within a month. I'm thinking I'll live-tweet the Oscars this year (unless circumstances don't permit it) so if you're not already following my Twitter @the_moviebob now would probably be a good time...
I think what annoys me so much about the impending coronation of "The Artist" isn't the film itself - as I've said elsewhere, it's just an inoffensive little ball of feel-good nothing - but that it's not even the best of the nominees at the things it does do: It's not the best paean to Silents, that's "Hugo" (flawed but ambitious beats well-executed mediocrity.) It's not the best harmlessly-silly romantic comedy about The Good Old Days, that's "Midnight in Paris" (which unlike "Artist" also manages to be ABOUT SOMETHING.)

"Moneyball" and "Descendants" are better "Older Gentleman Evaluating Life Choices" movies, "Tree of Life" wrings waaaaay more out of recreating the mid-50s than "Artist" gets out of the 20s... hell, I'd go so far as to say that "War Horse" does a better job channeling John Ford and Walt Disney than "Artist" does channeling it's grab-bag of Silent influences (it also has a more likable Silent Protagonist than ~~Benigni~~ Dujardin, though to be fair that horse wouldn't have been as funny in the OSS movies...) Honestly, the only nominees I can say it's definitively superior to are "The Help" and "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close;" and at least both of those had a touch more ambition to them, conceptually.

Escape to the Movies: "Act of Valor"

2012-02-24T15:19:00.000-05:00

I liked it.
"Intermission" sez The Oscar Are Going To Suck.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Act of Valor

Takedown

2012-02-24T02:39:00.000-05:00

Lawrence O'Donnell doesn't rate among my favorite MSNBC personalities - he's kind of sanctimonious and a scold, and doesn't really "fit" super-well with the "Poly-Sci Debate Club Running The Asylum" vibe the network has been building for itself ever since Rachel Maddow replaced Olberman as the star attraction. Not as bad as Sharpton, though. (And now you know what Bob's editing-background-noise is.)

But, credit where it's due, O'Donnell's Thursday night piece-by-piece dismantling of Internet obsession Ron Paul's bogus "libertarian" credentials was delightfully necessary:

Aaaaaaand there's an "American Bob" I no longer need to write. Good show.

Of course, since it's coming from MSNBC - clearly a tool of the Illuminati/Trilateral-Commission/Bilderberg/Bohemian-Grove/Zionist/Reptilian Globalist-Conspiracy if ever there was one! - Paul's followers will merely pack on another layer of foil and disregard it out of hand. Well said, though.

Sacrificial Lamb

2012-02-22T15:36:00.001-05:00

I liked how my off-the-cuff comment to this Jeff Wells' thread about a potential Rick Santorum presidential candidacy being a sign that the GOP is essentially conceding the 2012 election to Obama (re: let the "true believer" with no real shot run and lose, regroup for the likely-open spot in 2016, tell the religious-right to please stand-down and zip-it for a change because "their guy" so clearly failed last time) so I'm reposting here. Slow news day:

"The thing is, The GOP isn't REALLY as "split" on this stuff as it sometimes seems. Social-conservatism doesn't fit with The Right's professed ideal of anti-nanny-state "rugged individualism;" but the actual percentage of the "movement" - especially at the power-brokering level - that buys into it is tiny, and most of THEM are younger people and loner types.

By and large, it's a movement chiefly of old white moneyed men (and those whose fortunes are tied in with the same) who prize economic liberty (re: "The Free Market") above all else because it's best for their business interests; and whether or not they "believe" in social-con ideals they SUPPORT them as policy because it's also good for business: enforcing "live clean, marry young, move to burbs, pump out brats" as the ONE "good" standard of living is tailor-made to produce a booming population of prefab consumers; while social-liberalism doesn't, at least not quite as effectively.

It's also the case that even the ones who DO subscribe to some malformed version of Objectivism/Libertarianism only really see it in their own terms: The "Cowboy" ideal - emphasis on BOY: They're all about the INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM!!! of adult white men to drive whatever car they want, build whatever size house they want, shoot whatever animal they want, etc... but that same freedom can't POSSIBLY be extended to, say, WOMEN. Absurd! If women had the same level of Individual Freedom they did, who would stay at home and keep up the house so they'll have TIME to go live the Cowboy Ideal!? If women were as free to not have children as men are, who will pump out the kids needed to replenish my menial-labor staff and consumer base!?"

Had it slipped into my mind at the time, I might've added my own emerging calculation that the entirety of humanity would improve immeasurably if we were all having a lot more sex (or whatever fires your engine, really) but a lot fewer children.

Bile

2012-02-22T15:23:00.000-05:00

I didn't like "American Pie" when I was of the exact age it was supposed to be relevent to me - but then, high-school movies aren't actually for High Schoolers but for grade-schoolers who fantasize about being High Schoolers so... whatever. I'm 31, I'm sure there are 20-and-under folks with really fond, life-changing memories of these movies. At least, that's what this "American Reunion" trailer is banking on...

Y'know, my problem with this isn't that the original was only 13 years ago. My problem is that the THIRD movie - which was also about them all being adults wistful about their high-school days - was barely NINE years ago.

Also, I've got to ask... these movies are largely being made by people much older than the characters themselves; but am I the only one who notices how incongruous the whole "mid-30s adulthood grind" thing mus feel compared to what seems to be the REAL situations of the generation that graduated when these kids are supposed to have? I mean, did no one writing this look at the current economy, demographic studies, the THOUSANDS of books written about "Boomerang Kids" etc and pick up that Generation Y is by-and-large NOT at the "world wear rat-race" point that they (the writers/producers) may have been? I mean, Jim is married, has kids and a house of his own in his mid-30s!? Dear lord, what's he got to be weary about - compared to the rest of his generation his fucking SUPERMAN!!!"

Big Picture: "Untransformed"

2012-02-21T15:28:00.001-05:00

Given my now-recovering illness (no clue what it was, but my room looked like Hendrix died there) you almost didn't get this today. But here it is:

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Untransformed

Rights

2012-02-17T19:49:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of NJ Governor Chris Christie ~~playing election-year politics with people's lives~~ vetoing the legalization of gay-marriage passed by the elected representatives of the NJ State Senate because, to quote the Governor, "an issue of this magnitude and importance, which requires a constitutional amendment, should be left to the people of New Jersey to decide;” here is a quote from someone present-day Conservatives pretend to ~~have read books by~~ respect on the subject of putting civil-rights issues up for popular vote:

"Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities (and the smallest minority on earth is the individual)" -- Ayn Rand.

Escape to the Movies: "This Means War"

2012-02-17T13:24:00.000-05:00

Sucks.

"Intermission" is my favorite (written) piece in awhile.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : This Means War

Prospects Looking Grim For "John Carter"

2012-02-16T15:37:00.000-05:00

Deadline reports that "tracking" (re: "do audiences care?") numbers for Disney's impending "John Carter" are looking pretty poor, despite good early reviews starting to slip out. Blame is being laid at the feet of bad marketing and the Mouse House's seeming indifference to the project (which was begun under a different regime than currently runs the show there.)

Below, a comment of mine from Jeff Wells' reporting on the same story:

The advance word is actually pretty positive, but the marketing has been ATROCIOUS. Starting with the awfu re-titling and continuing through the nonexistant print campaign and trailers that keep showing the same basic scenes and locations (the shorter promo clips show there's WAAAAAY more to this than the Arizona-with-aliens stuff) and deliberately making the fairly outlandish plot and events sound as generic as possible ("our world is dying..." etc) ...a lethal combination of chickenshit marketing goons ("don't say Mars! Don't say Mars!") and Stanton etc. leaning way too hard on saving the "good stuff" for theaters.

Hell, they haven't even TRIED for the "prestige boost" - i.e. like LOTR reminding audiences at every turn that they didn't just pull this out of their ass, that it was "THE" movie of this massive decades-long cultural phenomenon. For fuck's sake, every schlock airport novel that gets adapted has "BASED ON THE #1 BESTSELLER!!!!" screaming at the top of it's trailer for the VERY reason that it makes the public go "wait.. am I not in on something? maybe I need to see this, I don't wanna be left out." But Disney somehow decides it's NOT pertinent to tell people that this is based on one of the most important and influential works in the entirety of genre fiction? That it's endured for a CENTURY? That it's the source of Flash Gordon, Star Wars, LOTR, Avatar and damn near every other fantasy/scifi blockbuster thats ever been produced?

Disney does not give, and has not given, a fuck about this movie for a long time; that much is obvious. Like "Tron: Legacy," (and the stalled 20,000 Leagues remake) it's production is a leftover from the Dick Cook regime, when the big push was to build a "Disney Boy Brand" to compliment the princess brand and they were greenlighting every action/scifi tentpole that came across the desk... then it became easier/safer to just BUY a pre-built "Boy Brand" aka Marvel - why "waste" time on a question-mark like John Carter when you've got all-but-garaunteed blockbusters coming via Avengers and it's sequels PLUS at least two more Captain America, Thor and Iron Man sequels AND whatever else Marvel wants to run up the flagpole? -- ME.

It's wholly plausible that the film is good, even great - but if so, it's looking like this could be 2012's "the good guys lose" moment a'la "Scott Pilgrim." Pic opens March 9th.

Half of "Crank" to Write/Direct All of "Twisted Metal"

2012-02-15T04:27:00.000-05:00

Brian Taylor, the "Taylor" half of the Neveldine/Taylor team that did the two "Crank" movies, is getting 7 figures from Sony to write and direct a "Twisted Metal" movie; presumably spurred by the impending (hopeful) success of the newest game.

I guess the question now is which of the many, many characters who could be played by Jason Statham (including some of the women) will actually end up being played by Jason Statham... or which "big guy" actor will be the fancasting favorite for Sweet Tooth - Tyler Mane? Derek Mears? Kane Hodder?

Neveldine/Taylor have "Ghost Rider 2" in theaters this weekend. It's not screening for critics, but the word from those who have seen it (it played Butt-Numb-A-Thon and a few other places, apparently) is beyond bad. N/T have a good industry reputation and are well-regarded, but to be frank basically nothing they've done besides "Crank" has been close to successful, so... I guess Sony knows something I don't.

Time To Start Paying Attention To "Wrath of The Titans"

2012-02-15T02:50:00.000-05:00

Bad 80s-nerdstalgia news from yesterday: Michael Bay will continue fucking up "Transformers" at least one more time. Good 80s-nerdstalgia news from today: Michael Bay will NOT be fucking up "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" as it looked like he might be for awhile there. Instead, directing duties will fall to Johnathan Liebesman; currently of "Wrath of The Titans." The same basic production/studio setup that shepherded that CGI-animated psuedo-sequel to the original trilogy a few years back are handling this one, but it's set to be the beginning of a new series as opposed to a further continuation.

Liebesman has demonstrated mostly-solid action chops in the past, but overall his filmography is pretty bleak: nobody remembers or much cared about "Darkness Falls" or "The Killing Room," and while he made bank with "Battle: Los Angeles" the movie was pretty damn terrible. On the other hand... he's NOT Michael Bay.

So, right now this is good news as far as I'm concerned, and will remain so until the words "dark and gritty reimagining" escape the lips of someone on the production (innevitably "fanboy-proofed" by references to "the spirit of the original Mirage comics, naturally.)

Funny Ladies

2012-02-14T14:09:00.000-05:00

Frequent-commenter Sofie Liv has joined the Agony Booth crew for a video series called "Red Suitcase Adventures." I like what I see. Go take a look at a countdown of wacky female cartoon characters.

Big Picture: "The Will Never Be Another Watchmen"

2012-02-14T13:59:00.002-05:00

Here it is. Stop asking now :)

The Escapist : The Big Picture : There Will Never Be Another Watchmen

AMERICAN BOB: "Beyond Better"

2012-02-14T04:30:00.000-05:00

"American Bob" RETURNS with my (belated) take on "It Gets Better." Summary? I'm a fan and supporter; but I hope it's seen as the beginning of a movement - not the end. There's a long road ahead for equal rights, even still.

I'm glad to be bringing this show back - feels good to be doing the political thing "on it's own," especially given how crazy this election year is already getting.

Fan(Girl) Service

2012-02-14T04:03:00.000-05:00

I've spoken before of my admiration for the folks at "That Guy With The Glasses;" who I think are putting out not only some of the best stuff in the "pop-culture critique video" genre but are also bringing a much needed injection of diversity (intellectual and otherwise) the medium.

Among the best examples of said strength-in-diversity is critic/filmmaker Lindsay Ellis, aka "The Nostalgia Chick;" whose taken what could easily have been a token gig ("the girl version" of the site's nominal leader) and turned it into vital part of the geek-culture conversation - often working in concert with a cadre of fellow TGWTG-affiliated female reviewers to not only review "nostalgiac girl stuff" but also to provide the often-overlooked female perspective on the general Nerd Ephemera. Her latest offering, viewable HERE, (and embedded after the jump,) in which she provides a non-sarcastically gender-flipped answer to the "hottest animated chicks" meme, is as good an example as any of why that's so welcome and necessary...

Gotta admit, I'm as thrown by #10 as she is; but that's why I like having this perspective presented in the first place. Sooooo much of the discussion of "Women in Geek Culture" is dominated by men talking about 'the female psyche' like this elusive, seldom-observed mythical creature (how many PAGES have been written by men half-jokingly trying to "figure out" the Team Edward/Jacob thing?); it's refreshing as hell to see actual women speak for themselves about it.

Yes, You're Getting "Transformers 4," and Michael Bay is Giving It To You

2012-02-14T01:00:00.000-05:00

Even Michael Bay seems to realize that Michael Bay has a Michael Bay problem: His work on the excerable "Transformers" films - which even HE doesn't seem to like - has made him a wealthy man (and has banked him considerable boxoffice clout) but it's also shifted his public image from being the crown prince of willfully-overblown "guy movie" excess to being just one more journeyman action-specialist working the branded-franchise assembly line; while upstarts like Zack Snyder, Timur Bekmambetov, Joe Carnahan and others have pushed into his territory.

For the last several years, Bay has been trying to get (his version of) a small, personal passion-project off the ground - a $25 Million (chicken feed for guys working at Bay's level) dark comedy called "Pain & Gain," based on a true story (recounted in the Miami New Times in 1999) of steroid-abusing bodybuilders who got wrapped up in a kidnapping/extortion/drugs clusterfuck. Bay returning to the bad-taste Miami-flavored sleaze of the Bad Boys movies for what sounds like "schlubs in over their heads" crime flick starring juiced-up gym rats? PERFECT combination. But he's had difficult securing a studio for the project thus far, even with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Mark Whalberg - two actors practically factory-designed for Michael Bay movies - attached to star.

But now Paramount has apparently stepped up to do the deed, with the contingency being that Bay has to take one more slog through the world of Autobots and Decepticons. When not even Michael Bay and two of the only consistently-bankable male action leads (both of whom are taking salary cuts to help keep the budget down!) can't get a $25 Million flick made without agreeing to also do a summer-tentpole/toy-commercial; it's clear that license-mania has grown out of control.

This all got announced waaaay earlier than Paramount wanted, when infamous producer Lorenzo Di Bonnaventura got in front of an MTV mic at ToyFair and said Bay was coming back for a Transformers "reboot" - by which he (apparently) means that the robot characters will be segueing into a new storyline featuring new human characters, as none of the original (non-CGI) cast has signed on to return. That's probably why twisting Bay's arm to keep him on was so important to them - his continued presence as director will be the only thing keeping this from looking like a "B-Team" sequel.

It feels almost surreal that we'll actually be enduring another of these things, after all the build-up of #3 being the big finale. But I do really want to see "Pain & Gain."

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"

2012-02-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, so... I don't want to be "that guy," but... didn't we learn from "Snakes on a Plane" that the whole "OMG LOL THATLOOKSLIKEAFAKEMOVIEBUTITSAREALMOVIE LMAO!!!" thing drives up your online traffic but doesn't actually get people into theaters?

This got greenlit a few years ago, back when "actual books that look like parody book-titles from a Simpsons background-gag" like this were a big bookstore fad. The progenitor of the trend, "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies," has gone through about a dozen failed starts so far.

I hate to be a spoilsport, because I like most of what I'm seeing - Bekmembatov, Burton etc. clearly understand that the central joke of Lincoln-as-Blade is funnier if the movie keeps a straight face and doesn't acknowledge that it knows it's funny; and that last shot is just about perfect - but that's the problem: is "Hah! This exists!" amusing enough to sustain a whole movie... and will people show up to find out?

I haven't read the original book yet (guess now I should...) but I'm given to understand that the "key" (and the reason it initially "broke-out" from the parody-book pack) is a certain degree of political-subtext drawing paralells between Vampirism and The Confederacy - in this version, vampire-hunting is Abe's "true calling;" and he becomes President and wages Civil War because The South is actually controlled by vampires who use the slave-trade as an easy food supply. That's clever, and if it makes it to the movie intact one imagines the outcry from the "stop picking on us!!!!" Lost Cause Revisionism crowd will be entertaining as hell in and of itself...

In Which I Say Something Nice About "Spider-Man"

2012-02-12T03:12:00.000-05:00

hat-tip to CBM

I've had unkind words for the recently-released "Amazing Spider-Man" trailer; particularly it's dissapointing-looking version of "The Lizard." Well, Disguise.com has a look at the officially-licensed costumes from the movie, and if you click on over you'll see that a lot of folk's fears seem to be confirmed regarding the creature's head: He looks like a scaly-faced human, as opposed to the "giant bipedal reptile" look many (myself included were hoping would carry over from the comics.) This is the lazy "Star Trek" school of creature-design, which assumes that a character can't be related to unless it has a mostly-human face - y'know, since nobody was able to identify with the Prawns in "District 9" or anything...

BUT! The costume material does appear to show a design detail that I actually dig the hell out of, and wouldn't mind seeing become "standard" for the character in other media: His hands. (pix after jump)

See what they did there?

Look again: The hand that grows-in "fresh" is more like an actual lizard's (four digits, bigger claws) while the other one is more of a mutated-human's hand.

That's really cool - kinda wondering why no one has done it before (or have they?)

Would still look better with the lab coat.

"Seeking a Friend For The End of The World"

2012-02-10T14:17:00.000-05:00

Did you see "Melancholia" and think; "man, this would be sooooooo much better as a wistful/quirky middle-aged rom-com?" Well, you're in luck:

Escape to the Movies: "Phantom Menace 13 Years Later"

2012-02-10T13:40:00.000-05:00

Episode I is not as bad as you remember it being. Yes, I said it.

Also, surprising absolutely no one, "Intermission" does the Spider-Man trailer scene-by-scene.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Phantom Menace 13 Years Later

The Big Picture: "Broken Biz"

2012-02-07T16:43:00.000-05:00

I really wish the "Spider-Man" trailer could've broken a day earlier, so it could've gone in here for a further example of the brand-fixation sickness...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Broken Biz

(UPDATED!) So When Did Albert Pyun Change His Name To "Marc Webb?"

2012-02-07T03:27:00.001-05:00

(UPDATED after restoration of Internet service!)

Well, on the plus side, now we no longer need to wonder what the aborted early-90s Canon Films version of "Spider-Man" would've looked like - save that, in the early 90s, this CGI would only look one or two years out of date...

I'm sure I'll have more to say about this in some other capacity soon enough, but for now let me hit the stuff jumping out at me right off the bat:

#1: I really like that one bit of Spidey fighting the cops - the Raimi movies had a paucity of hand-to-hand group fights since the villains didn't generally have henchmen and it's nice to see it here.

#2: Really kinda hoping SOME of this takes place in daylight. I know this is the darker/edgier/grittier/hardcore Spider-Man; but like I keep saying: NOT EVERY SUPERHERO NEEDS TO BE BATMAN.

#3: Dennis Leary appears well cast. I like the idea of Captain Stacy as a middle-aged working-dad type instead of the wizened elder-statesman from the comics.

#4: Well, there ya go, kids - snarky/jokey Spider-Man leaps into live-action... aaaaand in live-action it comes off as "douchey" instead of charming - like Dane Cook in a Power Rangers outfit. Who could've possibly predicted that??

#5: The dark eyepieces make him look like a villain. Sorry, they do. If I saw this version as a kid, my first assumption would be that this is an "evil" duplicate and that "good" white-eyes Spidey was going to fight him.

#6: The Lizard, as currently glimpsed here, would not pass muster in one of the "Resident Evil" movies - bad CGI rendering of a poorly-designed creature, a real shame.
#7: Well, there we have it: Peter's missing/dead biological father was a super-scientist partner of Curt Conners at (Gasp! No way! NEVER saw it coming!) OsCorp, and they were working on whatever mad-science stuff turns Peter into Spider-Man and Conners into The Lizard. Ah, "Ultimate Marvel" - the gift that keeps on giving... even though you beg it not to.

#8 Y'know what? I'm not done with #7 yet. That's awful. That's what you'd put into a pitch making fun of unnecessary, convoluted, bullshit Hollywood revisionism to origin-stories. I've tried my best to find the good in this utterly pointless cash-grab of an endeavor, but then this trailer comes along and tells me with ONE SHOT pretty-much all I need to know. At the 1:53 mark - directly following the asinine "The Untold Story" title-card - we get another black-and-white flashback of Young Peter staring at...

...A spider under glass, also black-and-white and thus implied to be either directly or indirectly part of the same flashback. In other words: It's NOT totally an accident anymore. It's - symbolically, anyway - pre-ordained: The Spider (or, at least, the manner by which it'll give him powers) and at least TWO of his major enemies (one in the film, one obviously being set-up) are all part of a path that's been awaiting him... the laziest possible screenwriting crutch: DESTINY. Instead of being a story about Great Power being thrust onto someone accidentally, Spider-Man becomes yet another ersatz-Skywalker "Chosen One."

Fuck. That.

Machete WILL Return in "Machete Kills!"

2012-02-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

Robert Rodriguez's "Machete" evolved out of a parody trailer, and now the same thing is set to happen with the first film's "pre-made sequels" joke (teasing "Machete Kills" and "Machete Kills Again," respectively) at the ending: Deadline reports that Rodriguez has closed a deal to make "Machete Kills" for real, with Danny Trejo expected to reprise the title role.

The script by Kyle Ward ("developed" by Rodriguez) apparently finds Machete tasked by the U.S. Government to bring down a Mexican drug-cartel that is somehow tied into a billionaire arms-dealer's scheme to start a world war with a superweapon in outer space. FWIW, Rodriguez has also "joked" in the past that "Machete Kills Again" would have Machete traveling to space, "Moonraker"-style.

Below, my review of the original film on "Escape to The Movies":

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Machete

Your Daily Reminder That You Are Very, Very OLD

2012-02-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

MetLife famously drafted Snoopy and the Peanuts Gang as ad mascots in a nostalgiac to appeal to newly-aging Boomers back in the days when that sort of thing was novel. Now, they've dropped a new spot that not only adds Looney Tunes to the mix but also Hanna Barberra's 70s TV pantheon, Fat Albert and, yes... early-80s staples He-Man and Voltron

Yup. Mark the date, Generation X - "The Market" has officially decided that you are now old enough to be a target-demographic... for life-insurance.

Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock...

Me GOP, Me Make Joke, Me Make Racist Ad For Hoek

2012-02-06T13:20:00.000-05:00

It wouldn't be an election-year Super Bowl without at least one eye-poppingly awful political spot.

This year's winner is Michigan Republican Senate candidate Pete Hoekstra, who rechristens his Democrat opponent Debbie Stabenow as "Debbie Spenditnow" via a young Asian woman who parks her bike in a rice paddy (really) to thank "Spenditnow" for selling America out to China in overly-accented "me so horny"-style broken english: "Your economy get very weak. Ours get very good. We take your jobs!"

Yeah, but there's no racism in the Republican Party. Zip. Zero. None at all. All made up by the Liberal Media. Yup.

Avengers, Assembled (UPDATED!)

2012-02-05T19:52:00.006-05:00

Here's the long version of "The Avengers" Super Bowl spot, featuring - among other delights - our first look at the team (Hulk included!) together in broad daylight.

HOLY. SHIT. This is a real thing.

(UPDATED AFTER THE JUMP!)

UPDATE! Here's a screencap - enlarged, cropped and color-enhanced - of the brief shot of what may be the first glimpse of the (thus far) top-secret creatures who're supposedly serving as Loki's soldiers. Still can't tell what they are, but a look is a look.

Most people have been calling them "Skrulls" generically, but apparently they can't be because Fox owns screen-rights to them via the "Fantastic Four" license. Others are guessing it's just the Frost Giants again, but from the image it doesn't look much like them - they're wearing some sort of shiny gray/green armor (the lower guy also seems to have a blue lens-flare light coming from his) for one thing, and even if that's skin the Giants were blue.

The main distinguishing features I can make out are that they're feet, hands and forearms are bigger in proportion to their body, three-toed feet and are wearing some sort of helmets with an extended "crown" peice. So... Thanos-related, maybe? Eternals? Celestials? Deviants? The Phalanx? Kree?

I will say that I remain vaugely concerned about the "scale" of the thing - nearly all the action beats we've seen seem to be the same NYC location and there's a paucity (so far) of mass-extras or broad scope. Maybe that means they're holding back, maybe it means it's a "one giant extended battle sequence" thing, but it's an issue given that the sole knock against Whedon is that he's a TV guy without much big-scale moviemaking experience (no, the theatrically-released TV movie that was "Serentity" - which I liked - doesn't count.)

On the other hand, scale isn't everything (see: Bay, Michael.) If the screenplay is as densely-packed with well-utilized Marvel mythos as the lead-up films and the dialogue crackles like that final exchange between Loki and Stark; a less-than "Transformers" scale mini-epic is more than a fair trade.

Chevy Apocalypse

2012-02-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

Here's the SuperBowl commercial that got Ford so pissed they actually petitioned NBC to ban it; in which Chevy implies that their rival's trucks will not protect you from The Mayan Apocalypse. Yes, really:

Took Long Enough

2012-02-05T03:59:00.000-05:00

In "Osombie" - currently seeking kickstarter funds for post-production - a NATO Special Forces outfit is out to stop Zombie Osama Bin Laden from re-conquering Afghanistan with an army of Undead Terrorists ("The Axis of Evil Dead".)

Naturally, this being an indie horror movie, they seemingly opt to do so with katanas. Sold.

Escape to the Movies: "Chronicle"

2012-02-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

Believe the hype. "Chronicle" is FUCKING AWESOME. Yes, even for a 'found-footage' movie.

Intermission: "How To Talk To A Critic (Assuming You Want To)"

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Chronicle

Tough One (UPDATED!)

2012-02-02T01:34:00.001-05:00

UPDATE! After the massive public outcry and deluge of high-profile donors pulling out, Komen has reversed it's decision to defund Planned Parenthood. Good news, but their official statements are packed with caveats and CYA language that leaves things open for them to try and pull the same shit in another form later on. Frankly, I don't think I'll be giving them any more money myself until they purge the pro-life nutters from their leadership ranks. But that's just me.

ORIGINAL POST:
For a variety of reasons I'm a bit more cautious about approaching politics and/or muckraking related to cancer research - breast cancer research in particular - than I am about similar goings-on with other issues. Also, believe it or not I do try to consider that any attraction to allegations of malefeasance by supposed charitable organizations might need to be second-guessed; since it plays waaaay too well into my natural trust-nobody/fuck-the-world cynicism.

WARNING! POLITICAL STUFF AFTER THE JUMP:

This is partially why I haven't done any posting about the buzz-gathering documentary "Pink Ribbons Inc;" which bills itself as an expose of unflattering practices by the ubiquitous Susan G. Komen breast cancer charity - chiefly alleging that the organization has become more concerned with it's role as a corporate-synergized "brand" than actively seeking a cure. I'll confess, I've often felt that seeing the yearly deluge of Komen-branded "pink products" to be a bit on the tacky side however well-intentioned... but I wasn't totally as comfortable with this particular "go get `em!" as I was with, say, a whack or five at PeTA.

But given recent events, it feels like I have to agree that this organization - at the very least, it's LEADERSHIP - needs some major scrutiny. So here's the trailer:

The film has, of course, jumped back into buzz-territory as of yesterday; when SGK stunned and outraged many of it's longtime supporters by announcing they would cease all funding of breast cancer screenings performed at Planned Parenthood facilities - one of the top resources for such screenings for low-income women in the U.S. Unsurprisingly, this comes not long after the foundation raised eyebrows by appointing virulent anti-abortion zealot (and failed gubernatorial candidate) Karen Handel to Vice President of Public Policy. So... yeah, the whole thing stinks to high heaven so far as I can see.

I'm sure there's already no shortage of petitions and protest sites associated with this, but given how new the happenings are I'm not looking to post them just yet - again, cautious about these things... but speaking only for myself I feel placed in an ideologically-awkward position. I'm pro-choice for the exact same reasons I want to find a cure for breast cancer: I care about women's health, and I can't really fathom how one could be decoupled from the other.

So... yeah. That's the trailer, them's the facts, make of it what you will.

Yup, That's G.I. Joe Alright

2012-02-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

I maintain that Stephen Sommers' original "G.I. Joe" movie was overall pretty good, mostly because it managed to nail the proper 'tone' for a movie based on a children's cartoon based on a line of scifi-inflected army toys; but I'll be the first to admit that it might've been better if they hadn't tried to "streamline" to gonzo-eclecticism of the source material's design aesthetics - if G.I. Joe and Cobra's nonexistant dress-codes really bother you, you're probably watching the wrong movie to begin with.

As such, the fact that the John Chu-directed sequel thus far looks like the same basic "fuck you, reality!" tone re-skinned with a megaton of ripped-from-the-toybox fanservice continues to inspire a surprising level of confidence. Check out the film's Super Bowl ad below - featuring a much better look at Cobra Commander's "classic" mirrored-helmet, Ray Stevenson as Firefly, a Rattler jet(!) and Ninjas in a shurikens vs. minigun shootout:

Adam Sandler to star in "Candy Land: The Movie." Yes, this is something that's happening.

2012-01-31T17:14:00.000-05:00

At this point, it's not even possible to come up with "joke" versions of these things - it's like there's no light left between "actual movie pitch" and "Robot Chicken sketch pitch" anymore. But yeah, Adam Sandler will star in a feature film version of the "Candy Land" board game.

The "interesting" thing, relatively speaking, is that Sandler pal Robert Smigel - late of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and "TV Funhouse - is coming along to do the script. He's a real talent... but I can't really see his general sense of humor (or Sandler's, for that matter) matching well with what Hasbro clearly will want to be a kid-friendly franchise-starter.

A Commercial For A Commercial For "The Avengers"

2012-01-31T16:28:00.000-05:00

Yup. Marvel has released a preview of their "Avengers" Super Bowl ad, which gives us a brief glimpse of (maybe?) bad guy flying-machines (the main one is still Loki on some kind of jet-bike, though) and The Hulk:

Big Picture: "Oscars: The Grouse"

2012-01-31T12:38:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Oscars: The Grouse

Is "The FP" The Next Great Movie About Video-Games?

2012-01-31T01:01:00.000-05:00

From Devin at BAD I learn that said BAD's partner/overlord, Drafthouse Films, has picked up distribution rights to the SXSW-buzzed oddity "The FP;" which I'd previously heard spoken of as "the next 'Six String Samurai.'" The basic pitch is a send-up the "such-and-such-familiar-game-BUT-AS-A-GLADATORIAL-BLOODSPORT!!!" genre and the late-80s/early-90s punk-rock-post-nuke aesthetic that often accompanied it, the comic hook being that the rival clans of The FP settle their issues in winner-take-all deathmatches of... "Dance Dance Revolution" (Here called "Beat Beat Revolution.")

Yup. Drafthouse has announced a limited theatrical-release on March 16th of this year. This is real. Here's a (NSFW) trailer.

Somehow Innevitable

2012-01-30T20:24:00.000-05:00

You will be unsurprised to learn that the emerging "modernized fairytale" trend has inspired someone to reboot the Linda Hamilton/Ron Perleman "Beauty & The Beast" series as what sounds an awful lot like "Castle-but-with-a-sorta-wolfman"; but Moviehole's report on the pilot script adds an "are you kidding me!?" detail: the "new" Beast is a guy who got transformed into (more or less) a half-animal version of Captain America... by 9-11.

Yeah, I know. Ten years, Bin Laden is dead, but still... yikes.

Not The Movie We Want; But The Movie We Need

2012-01-29T00:34:00.000-05:00

Hat-tip BAD

Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait has only directed a handful of films, but they're all pretty damn great - pitch-black yet somehow not "gratuitous" stuff that cuts straight to the bone in ways few other comedies would dare. Example: "Sleeping Dogs Lie" starts out as a movie (partially) about bestiality and winds up as possibly the most honest romantic-comedy ever concieved (it's moral: Want a healthy relationship? LIE.)

The word on his newest feature, "God Bless America," has been that it's dark stuff "even for Bobcat;" a bastard lovechild of "Super" and "Idiocracy" by way of "Falling Down" for the Fox News era. The premise? A suicidal everyman has an epiphany: Why kill himself when it's everyone else - particularly reality TV stars, cell-phone addicts, religious nuts and "American Idol" - who're the problem? What follows is either a trailer for the most incendiary movie anyone has attempted in years... or a direct-feed from the inside of MY mind at any given moment:

Holy. Shit.

Yeah. CANNOT WAIT for this one.

Escape to The Movies: "The Grey"

2012-01-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

Go see it. Now.

"Intermission" finishes the convention-rundown.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Grey

Ferris Returns?

2012-01-27T03:38:00.000-05:00

Yes, what is apparently just a Super Bowl commercial is considered important enough to warrant a teaser trailer. Unless, of course, they really ARE making a sequel (probably not.)

I have what you'd call a "complicated" relationship with "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." On the one hand, it's hard to ignore that it's a movie that essentially treats a narcissistic semi-sociopath - who "get's over" on anyone trying to keep him from doing whatever he wants even though he's a priviliged upper-middle-class white suburban kid who could easily do all the things he's conning his way into WITHOUT the conning part - as a kind of aspirational role-model. On the other hand... maybe it's because I TOO was a mostly-comfortable middle-class suburban smartass when I saw it and really did identify with him. Either way, it's still a fun movie.

Also, something just occured to me: If you took the original film and did some digital-trickery to all of Ferris' fourth-wall-breaking moments so that it looked like he was talking into his webcam/smartphone... it would essentially play out like an ULTRA up-to-date movie about teenagers in the youtube/facebook oversharing age. That's how cool Ferris was - he was VLOGGING HIS LIFE two whole decades before "Vlogging" was invented.

Post-Movie Podcast (Again)

2012-01-26T17:24:00.001-05:00

This is going up a little late, but worth a listen none the less. I sat in for John Black on The Post-Movie Podcast with Steve Head, the subject being year-end top-ten lists. This is part 1 of 2. ENJOY!

Click HERE to download (free!) from iTunes.

Steven Spielberg to Part Red Sea For Warner Bros?

2012-01-26T02:38:00.000-05:00

For the past two decades, Steven Spielberg has - quite openly - been structuring a lot of his directing schedule around the "one for me, one for them" model: frequently Interspeding his high-end "prestige" projects with projects more likely to be tentpole blockbusters (though it's not always a one-to-one ration.)

The next "for them" project (next year's Abe Lincoln biopic being the "for me") is supposed to be "Robopocalypse" - a machine-uprising-against-humanity movie based on Daniel H. Wilson's book - slated for the July 4th weekend of 2013. Now, Deadline reports that he may already be circling another major prestige-entry after that for Warner Bros: "Gods and Kings;" A big-budget biopic of Moses. Yes, that Moses. Basket in the reeds, Egypt, burning bush, ten plauges, "let my people go!," parting-seas, Ten Commandments, golden calf, the whole nine yards.

The buzzword on this one is "Braveheart-like," which means it's aiming to be a big, straight-faced, action-oriented version of the story; though there's no indication if it'll be a "realistic/historical version" or feature the explicitly-supernatural driving forces as in the original scripture. Either way, I really, REALLY hope he does this...

Obviously, the most famous version of this story in movie terms in the DeMille movie from 1956. It's fashionable to snark at this movie, and not without reason - it's garish, overblown and corny as hell - but those are precisely the reasons why it's one of my favorite "classic" movies: DeMille, for all his myriad issues, was the perfect guy to make what was essentially trying to be a "living" version of the way Exodus was depicted in Rennaissance religious-art. It's the swords-n-sandals "high fantasy" (and I mean no disrespect in either direction by "fantasy") version of The Old Testament; rippling muscles, heaving bosoms, stern declarations of honor and rage, wailing high-pitched emotional breakdowns, thundering orchestral score and God's Wrath visualized through what were then cutting-edge FX.

DeMille's movie - especially the showpiece FX scenes - are SO iconic it would probably be a fool's errand for any present-day filmmaker to try and top them (I would bet on this being a mostly-historical with "subtle" mystical elements for the most part) but if anyone can pull it off it's Spielberg. The real question is: Who plays Moses - or, rather, who wants to stand up to the innevitable comparisons to Charlton Heston giving one of the most culturally-entrenched performances of his (or anyone else's) career?

Oh, and please allow me to weigh in on the obvious Movie Geek question: YES, I absolutely think that when they build the Ark of The Covenant it should totally end up looking just like the version from "Raiders" (bonus points for "Map Room"/"Miracle of The Ark" getting repurposed as "God's Theme") thus making this an Indian Jones prequel. That would be awesome.

2012 Oscar Nominations Play it Safe, Boring.

2012-01-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

Eh. You were expecting something else?

If it wasn't partially my JOB to cover this sort of thing, I'd prefer to declare that the entire shindig this year is rendered irrelevant by the failure to nominate Albert Brooks in "Drive" for Best Supporting Actor. The most "interesting" thing about this year is that there are NINE Best Picture nominees - they changed the rules again so that the list could be "between 5 and 10" based on total number of votes per individual film, meaning that there's some poor unfortunate movie out there that would have been the tenth nominee under last year's rules.

"The Help" simply does not belong on a Best Picture list in any year, but certainly not in a year that also included the shut-out "Drive." "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" is kind of a mess, but it was a given that the first big-star "let's all have a cry about 9/11 memories" movie was going to be nominated. "The Artist" is probably going to win, and will quickly join "A Beautiful Mind," "English Patient" and "Dances With Wolves" on the future "REALLY!?" lists - though I suppose they deserve big propers for acknowledging "Tree of Life."

Full list (and comments) after the jump:

Best Picture
War Horse
The Artist
Moneyball
The Descendants
Tree of Life
Midnight in Paris
The Help
Hugo
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

BOB COMMENT: Obviously, I'd prefer to see "Tree of Life" win, but y'know what would be an even better spoiler in some ways? "Midnight in Paris" - 'Classic Woody' making a big comeback is a big deal.

Best Actress
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Best Actor
Demián Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BOB COMMENT: This should be Oldman's to lose, but the role is likely too restrained for Oscar. Dujardin probably takes this, will be the most popular "funny foriegn guy" in American movies for about six months and then promptly be banished back home a'la Roberto Benigni.

Best Supporting Actress
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help

BOB COMMENT: Respect where it's due, Melissa McCarthy is a delightful surprise here. "The Help" is obviously the more 'popular' movie, but I really doubt Chastain would've been noticed in this if she didn't have "Tree of Life" the same year.

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week with Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Max von Sydow Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

BOB COMMENT: No Albert Brooks, no sale.

Best Director
Michele Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

BOB COMMENT: Y'know what? I like Hazanavicius. The "OSS" movies are hilarious, and he seems like a cool cat. But the "one of these things is NOT like the others" on this roster is staggering, and the idea that he'd be a frontrunner for something as inconsequential as "The Artist" on a list where the great Alexander Payne is the LEAST accomplished filmmaker otherwise is completely ridiculous.

Best Original Screenplay
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Annie Mumolo Kristin Wiig, Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor, Margin Call
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Asghar Farhadi, A Separation

BOB COMMENT: Will probably be Woody, and he deserves it, but it'd be great to see Wiig win.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, The Descendants
John Logan, Hugo
George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, Ides of March
Steven Zallian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Moneyball
Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Foreign Film
Bullhead
Footnote
In Darkness
Monseiur Lazar
A Separation

BOB COMMENT: I'm assuming "The Artist" isn't on this list because it's technically "Foriegn LANGUAGE Film" and the only spoken dialogue in the film is in English.

Best Animated Feature
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

BOB COMMENT: My overseas readers are probably wondering how "Tintin" didn't make this list. Likely answer? A lot of "Tintin" was accomplished via motion-capture, and there's a vocal and powerful contingent of the American animation industry that sees mocap either as a threat to their livelihoods or a "low" form of the medium; and they've circled the wagons.

Best Animated Short
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

Best Live Action Short
Pentecost
Raju
The Shore
Time Freak
Tuba Atlantic

Best Art Direction
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
War Horse

Best Cinematography
The Artist
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Best Costumes
Anonymous
The Artist
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.

BOB COMMENT: The lack of ANY 'genre' films outside of "Harry Potter" in the tech/art categories is baffling, until you remember that the prospects would include Captain America, Thor, XMen, etc. Bias against scifi/fantasy? Lessening. Bias against supehero-subgenre? Alive and kicking.

Best Documentary Feature
Hell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Libration Front
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Pina
Undefeated

Best Documentary Short
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
God is the Bigger Elvis
Incident in New Baghdad
Saving Face
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Best Film Editing
The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball

Best Makeup
Albert Nobbs
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
The Iron Lady

BOB COMMENT: Really? Red Skull get's nothing?

Best Original Score
The Adventures of TinTin
The Artist
Hugo
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
War Horse

BOB COMMENT: WHAT!? Okay, not to channel poor Kim Novak here or anything... but "The Artist" get's Best ORIGINAL Score?? Forget that the original part of it's score is deeply generic even as "tribute" scores go, big chunks of it are sampled from other scores. Two years ago, "The Will Be Blood" got shafted on a score nod because the composer sampled ONE riff from his OWN catalogue - how does this get a pass? Even the fucking Weinstein's shouldn't be this powerful...

Best Original Song
"Man or Muppet", The Muppets
"Real in Rio", Rio

Best Sound Editing
Drive
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

Best Visual Effects
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

BOB COMMENT: Oh, look, some non-Potter genre movies finally make the cut in the usual place. This should go to "Apes," as consolation prize for the rank cowardice in not giving Andy Serkis an acting nod.

Big Picture: "Monster's Movie"

2012-01-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

Kim Jong-Il - the late dictator of North Korea - once kidnapped a famous South Korean filmmaker, held him and his wife prisoner for nearly a decade and forced him to make a Communist knock-off of "Godzilla." Really. Here's a show about it.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Monster's Movie

How America's Hatred of Intelligence is KILLING It, Explained in Under 4 Minutes

2012-01-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

Hat-tip io9

I often strain for sober-sounding methods to explain my disgust with the villifying of "intellectuals" or "elites" in American culture; or why I get as furious as I do with Climate Change deniers, Creationists, Intelligent Design proponents and all other manner of superstitious wastes of skin (see, there I go again...) rather than just ignoring them.

Fortunately, Neil deGrasse Tyson (who's supposedly going to step into Carl Sagan's shoes for Seth McFarlane's "Cosmos" revival - yes, really) helpfully explains it by means of a simple infographic that shows the United State's standing as a scientific-innovator dwindle to near-nothingness within a mere decade:

This is why I DON'T get mad when people in Asia, Europe, Japan etc. gloat about how stupid my country is now percieved to be, because it's increasingly TRUE and it has very simple, tangible sources: America, as a whole, does far too much "believing" (religiously and otherwise) and not nearly enough THINKING. We prize moral-righteousness over intellectual prowess, we hold "common sense" superior to educated analysis, we slash funding for research to meet short-term budgetary goals and expect "the market" to pick up the slack (it won't, "the market" LIKES a stupid population) and we treat people walking around in the 21st century denying cold hard proven facts like evolution, climate-change etc as having "beliefs" or "a different opinion" instead of obvious mental failings not worthy of ether discussion OR respect in a modern world.

We're having an election soon. Not ONE Republican can hope to be nominated if he doesn't swear to his constituents that he believes the proven fact of evolution to be false, and no one of EITHER party can hope to win period without reassuring a significant number of people that they believe - sincerely and without a hint of doubt or questioning - that there is an invisible man living in the sky calling the shots via a ten-item "don't" list. These are the signs of a society that is not only failing, but that deserves to be failing.

So while the fundamentalists, hardcore believers, absolutist pro-lifers, "traditionalists," creationists, homophobes, climate-deniers and all the rest MAY in fact include some otherwise perfectly nice individuals among their ranks, collectively the ignorance they espouse and the anti-progress, anti-reason political leaders, candidates and movements they support are murdering my future; and I feel wholly disinclined to continue being "tolerant" of them. Differences should be tolerated, but ignorance should be corrected - and if it cannot/will-not BE corrected it deserves only to be shunned.

REVIEW: "Underworld: Awakening"

2012-01-23T04:00:00.000-05:00

I actually really like the "Underworld" movies, overall. The whole series has a mountain of problems following it from sequel to sequel, but the whole production is so unblinkingly, unironically wrapped-up in itself that it almost feels like conventional aesthetic criticism doesn't "matter" - like the golden age Bond movies or the "Rocky" series, it more-or-less demands to be met on it's own terms.

Helpfully, other than the first film sucking for almost a FULL HOUR before it suddenly gets interesting and engaging, the terms are pretty reasonable - for a franchise comprised chiefly of complicated-for-complication's-sake revisionist vampire fan-fiction and director/producer Len Wiseman's (largely successful) attempt to enshrine wife Kate Beckinsale as an iconic genre-film sex-goddess; the whole affair has been pretty damn watchable.

For those not up to speed on the "Underworld" lore: Vampires and Werewolves are real - except Werewolves are called "Lycans" - and the two teams don't get along (Lycans = blue-collar, Vamps = aristocrats) on account of the Lycans having once been Vampire slaves until some star-crossed-lovers stuff went down between a wolf-guy and a vamp-princess back in medieval times; and they've been fighting the equivalent of an unseen-by-humanity mob war (hence the title) for centuries. Oh, and they share a common ancestor in some guy who made himself immortal trying to cure a plague and passed the gene on to his twin sons who were bitten by a wolf and bat, respectively.

Beckinsale is Selene, a vampiress with a blackbelt in wolf-exterminating who winds up on the outskirts of the fight after she falls for Scott Speedman as a guy who's been mutated into a vampire/lycan Hybrid and learns that the monster-war backstory is actually MORE complicated than she thought - bad guys who aren't so bad, good guys who're secretly evil, the usual. To it's credit, the franchise keeps track of this information in what was initially a novel way: When "Underworld" vampires drink blood, they also absorb the bleeder's memories.

"Underworld 3" was actually a prequel, with Michael Sheen (really!) and Rhona Mitra as the lycan/vamp Romeo & Juliet analogues. "Awakening" brings back Selene and takes the story to the next logical step: At some point between Part 2 and now, human beings finally found out about vampires and werewolves being real and tried to wipe them out. After a prologue explaining this, Selene wakes up sans-Michael in science lab where we learn she's been locked up for eleven years. The movie makes a big deal out of this "lost decade" business, but it doesn't really have much resonance - part of the "conceit" of the previous films was a near-total lack of reference to where or when ANY of this was actually taking place beyond "medieval times" and "modern big-city."

So, despite the whole "it's the future now" setup, everything is pretty familiar: Selene running about in her black pleather skin-suit and duster beating up enemies, some of whom can morph into big bipedal wolf-monsters. I will say that I like that the series maintains it's creatures-eye-view conception of it's world despite the new wrinkle of actively-involved humanity - it's a trip that our ostensible heroine casually murders human canon-fodder en-route to her various goals since, hey, to her these are basically just free-range cattle, after all.

Granted, it's at last become impossible to ignore that the series really isn't "about" anything other than it's own worldbuilding (it really does have NOTHING to "say" after four films than "here's the next addition to the 'Underworld' mythos!") so at this point it's all about the novelties - this time around, the "new stuff" includes a giant-size mega-Lycan, Stephen Rea(!) as a scientist and a pair of fairly surprising plot twists.

I don't really know that I "needed" a fourth one of these, and I'm not exactly demanding a fifth one... but I can't say it's not worth a shot.

The Good Guys Win

2012-01-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

The ESA has dropped it's support of SOPA. Holy shit.

Okay, kind of beside the point since the bill (and it's cousin PIPA) are both effectively dead, but still a pretty big deal and a HUGE moment for the video-gaming community. If nothing else, it shows that the same fervor that's often mounted in support of silly causes like Diablo III's color-scheme or "nerfing" of this or that feature CAN in fact be mobilized to effect real concrete change in the industry; and that in itself is an incredibly positive development.

In terms of business/politics/history, this whole series of events also represents a pretty massive shift in the entertainment-industry power structure - essentially, the tech/digital side of the amusement biz (video games, Google, Wiki, YouTube etc) were on the winning side of a legislative defeat while the film/TV side came out the (corporate) losers. The Internet is now "officially" more powerful than Hollywood - that's a big change, and the aftershocks will be felt for a long time.

For those who're wondering about the status of the Stand Together boycott... as of right now, I don't know. Speaking only for myself, I think that it's incumbent upon to me to acknowledge that they "listened to us" and rescind the "no E3 coverage whatsoever" blackout for my own blogs; but I don't think I'll be throwing them a party either - they never should've supported the bill in the first place. I'll clarify that further once everyone invovled in the initial boycott gets on the same page.

As to "what's next?" Tomorrow night (Saturday) at 10pm CST, I'll have a NEW episode of The Game OverThinker up for ALL audiences that - rather presciently, if I do say so myslef - has a few things to say about where anti-piracy legislation and the relationship between the entertainment industry and it's audiences in an increasingly-digitized age needs to go. I hope you'll tune in - it also features the announcement of some "tweaking" to the format of the series that I think many will find very pleasing.

Escape to the Movies: "Red Tails"

2012-01-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

Turned out pretty good. Whaddaya know?

"Intermission" chronicles my recent convention-going.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Red Tails

Resident Evil: Retribution Trailer

2012-01-19T14:14:00.000-05:00

At this point, I think it's fair to say that the "Resident Evil" movies are more stable as a B-movie institution than the original franchise is as a video-game institution. The new trailer for the fifth(!) go-around doesn't show off any story points (or zombies, for that matter), other than a handful of shots that seem to be set during/around the earlier sequels - is this the "fill-the-plot-holes"/continuity-porn installment? It also looks like Umbrella now has a fleet of airships... where do they keep GETTING this stuff after the end of the world?

Eh, whatever. Each film after the original has been a romp on some level, and the amount of fun the husband/wife team of Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich seem to be having with this ongoing family project is always in evidence. In fact... am I the only one who thinks it's probably time for Alice to turn up in one of the games? At this point, she's as much an iconic part of the brand as Wesker is...

Media Sandwich, Once More

2012-01-18T20:24:00.002-05:00

Here's the second part of the Media Sandwich podcast, featuring me. But really, you should be keeping an ear on this one even when I'm NOT the guest.

STAND TOGETHER - The Gaming Community vs SOPA and PIPA

2012-01-18T00:01:00.000-05:00

Short version: In solidarity with ScrewAttack.com and other websites, I will not be attending or directly-posting any news coverage of this year's E3 unless the ESA (which runs E3) rescinds it's support for the SOPA bill. Longer version:

Please link, repost, tweet etc. this video/blog as widely as possible; and I stand with the others in asking that you encourage other gaming/web outlets to join the "boycott" of E3.

HOWEVER! please remember that regardless or what this or that person may feel about SOPA; not everyone is in a position to refuse to attend or cover E3 and should NOT be ill-treated if they opt not to join this particular movement of SOPA opposition - the last thing we need at this time is to splinter and fractionalize, so I don't want to see anyone pulling any "this or that site is still going to E3! Traitors!!!" bullshit, okay? Okay.

Big Picture: "Junk Drawer - Game On"

2012-01-17T13:07:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Junk Drawer: Game On

Mitt The Ripper

2012-01-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

Ever since the infamous Supreme Court "Citizens United" decision, Stephen Colbert has been engaged in a piece of long-running, high-concept political theater - creating his own flagrantly-corrupt "SuperPAC" to raise money for his own not-at-all-directly-coordinated political career - to point out the absurd possibilities of the new campaign laws.

As of last week, the performance has entered a new act: Colbert will run for president in the South Carolina Republican primary, while an "unaffiliated" party - Jon Stewart - will take over Colbert SuperPAC, making it "legal" for the SuperPAC's funds to be spent on Colbert's campaign... a legal manuver that required only ONE document to be signed. The point, of course, is to point out how simple it would be for a REAL campaign to pull the same basic shennanigans.

In any case, "Colbert SuperPAC" has released it's first ad, targeted at Colbert's "opponent" Mitt Romney, that joins in the chorus continuing to slap Romeny around for the "corporations are people" line: If Mitt thinks corporations are people, argues the ad, his time as a Venture Capitalist (read: corporate raider) makes him a serial killer:

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Obama Comes Out Against SOPA

2012-01-15T00:41:00.001-05:00

Another exceptionally busy - but extremely rewarding - day down at Arisia. MANY thanks to fans who turned up to say "hi" at the Gender in Gaming, PC Gaming panels. More details, naturally, when I get settled back home on Monday night (or Tuesday morning.)

Anyway! Proving once again that the BEST kind of politician is a politician facing a "base versus base" re-election fight, the Obama Administration has come out against the SOPA bill... and was subsequently dissed for doing so by Rupert Murdoch. Like I said, Election 2012 is reliable-base versus reliable-base (neither party has a record worth running on, so the strategy on both sides will be to fight so dirty that the only people who'll show up to vote will be the pre-decided base) so big, sweeping "stuff that's popular with my likely supporters" moves are the name of the game. Score one for the good guys.

Since I know someone is already prepping the "b-b-b-but the NDAA!!!!" response, here's my take on that: It sucks, it's scary, I hate it... but I also recognize that ANY electable U.S. politician would've signed it at this point in time regardless of party. Speaking only for myself, MY calculation goes like this: Right now, the NDAA would be unlikely to survive a challenge at the Supreme Court, and will get even LESS likely to survive with each new "liberal" justice that could potentially be appointed in Obama's second term... BUT, should the Republicans re-take the Presidency, the judges they'd be likely to appoint could easily swing the Court toward UPHOLDING the NDAA.

For me, this is the ultimate "politics for grownups" realization: You don't elect presidents as "leaders," you elect them as MASCOTS - vanguards of a broad party/political-philosophy. NOTHING is more important in modern (and forseeable-future) American law than the makeup of the Supreme Court and Federal Bench, and only Presidents can appoint judges. That's why it doesn't matter what Obama (or Romney, or whoever else) "says" they believe about abortion, gay-marriage, etc - they WILL appoint Judges who'll side either with the broad-liberal or broad-conservative narrative, and THAT will decide the course of countless future laws.

George W. Bush replaced two right-wing Supremes with two more right-wing Supremes. If ANY liberal/democrat/progressive politician had been President instead, we'd have an UNSTOPPABLY-progressive, secular, pro-science, pro-reason, anti-tradition-for-tradition's-sake Supreme Court and would be living in (IMHO) a vastly better America as a result. THAT - above all else - decides who I support and how I vote. Not men. Not character. Not even speeches or promises. Judges, judges, judges.

Jackson's "West Memphis" Doc Has a Trailer

2012-01-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

Day one at Arisia went swimmingly. Now to breakfast and trying NOT to make an ass of myself at the Gender & Gaming panel.

Anyway, here's a trailer for Peter Jackson's "West Memphis Three" doc:

There's a minor controversy surrounding this one, of course, as it's seen in some quarters as taking away from the OTHER recent doc on the same subject by the filmmakers whose earlier two pieces on the subject more-or-less turned the case into an international cause; but Jackson and company are no mere latecoming interlopers: Upon the recent release of the three men, it was revealed that they (Jackson, Fran Walsh and their partners) had been putting up a BIG chunk of the money that went into the new legal push that finally put things right.

MovieBob is NOW at Arisia 2012

2012-01-13T16:28:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

As mentioned before, I am now checked in at ARISIA 2012 and am prepping for my first panel as we speak. Here's a quick rundown of panels/events where I'm schedule to appear (whole schedule available HERE) and any fans/viewers in attendance are welcome to say "hi!"

Friday 5:30 PM - "E.T. at 30."
Friday 7:00 PM - "The Future of Bioethics as Portrayed in Film"
Friday 8:30 PM - "Batman Through the Ages"
Friday 10:00 PM - "More Terrible SF/F Movies We Love"

Saturday 10:00 AM - "Gender and Video Games"
Saturday 1:00 PM - "Monsters in Motion: Harryhausen at Work"
Saturday 4:00 PM - "If You Liked Part 1..."
Saturday 10:00 PM - "The Death of PC Gaming May Be Greatly Exaggerated"

Sunday 1:00 PM - "Wonder Woman"
Sunday 10:00 PM - "Marvel Movies"

Monday 10:00 AM - "Star Wars at 35"
Monday 11:30 AM - "MST3K: The Panel"
Monday 1:00 PM - "The Alien as Metaphor"

Escape to the Movies: "The Iron Lady"

2012-01-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

Review is found HERE.

"Intermission" finishes-up the anticipation game.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Iron Lady

Neanderthals

2012-01-13T00:43:00.001-05:00

The only thing more irritating, in the 21st century, than people overly-fixated on their own historical victimhood are people overly-fixated on their own imagined historical victimhood.

"Men's Rights Activism" (MRA) has probably always existed in one form or another, but it got supercharged by The Internet because - shocker! - there's a lot of undersexed, pathologically-aggrieved men in the anyonymous realm of web forums. The "public face" of MRA is, of course, typically presented in the context of legal arguments about fathers disenfranchised by custody hearings or the ever-dreaded boogeyman of Affirmative Action; but a short amount of web-digging exposes just how sinister the movement's thriving "base" actually is - a toxic stew of half-baked evolutionary-psych jargon, beta-male sexual-frustration and right-wing backlash against "the feminization of the culture"... the white-hot rage of a middle-aged child-support dodger filtered through the sophistication of a cootie-phobic six year-old.

My colleague Jim Sterling highlights a particularly horrifying-yet-hillarious exchange currently going down on an MRA forum involving video-games. Give it a read.

Money quote, sampled from the larger rant of the MRA forum's original poster:

"I think I have the right to ask steam and other gaming companes: WTF with the subliminal brainwashing? What now when I buy or play a game women will be doing all the ass kicking? I seen some similiar patterns on the game advertisements on television and the internet recently and want to know if anyone else is seeing the pattern?

I call bullshit on this subject. Video games are the last place for guys to hang out and now women are taking over. Why not just save us the trouble and instead of eliminating our fantasy world just throw us in work camp to provide for thier bastard children (literally speaking) while they shit all over us...wait they already do that."

That last part with the "work camps" is a pretty good primer on where the "bottom" of the MRA rabbit hole is - it's an article of faith with these folks that "feminism" is actually a conspiracy of power-hungry women to trick/seduce "real man" (read: men who buy into MRA doctrine) into impregnating them and paying child support while they and their "feminized men" (read: men who have sex more often than MRA believers) go about their mission of stealing men's high-paying jobs and "taking over" the culture; with the logical extreme being some kind of matriarchal men-as-cattle dystopia.

For me, an extra dollop of hillarity is to be found in the fact that the ENTIRETY of "Men's Rights Activism" was both predicted and parodied by, of all things, "Married With Children" over a DECADE ago. What, have we already forgotten about "NO MA'AM?"

Another take was offered by my friend and editor Susan Arendt, here.

Moonrise Kingdom

2012-01-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

The trailer for Wes Anderson's latest - in which the twee, quirky residents of a twee, quirky seaside town awkwardly pursue a twee, quirky 12 year-old couple who've run off together in advance of a coming storm - looks kind of like a cross between an NPR dramatization and a live-action/period version of "Peanuts."

Oh, calm down. I kid because I love. I'm interested to see how Anderson's signature style works with the kids-who-seem-like-adults angle rather than the adult-children routine he more-typically operates from.

Steven Spielberg Predicts The Future (In 1982)

2012-01-11T01:47:00.001-05:00

Film geeks who haven't seen "Room 666" should definitely put it on their must-watch list. It's a documentary, shot at the Cannes Film Festival in 1982, wherein filmmaker Wim Wenders asks a laundry-list of prominent filmmakers in attendance (including Jean Luc Goddard, Steven Spielberg, Werner Herzog, Fassbinder, Antonioni, etc) to briefly opine of the future of movies. The responses range from hopeful to depressing to to strange (first thing out of Herzog's mouth: "I think I'll start by taking off my shoes. You can't answer a question like that with your shoes on.") but surprisingly the guy who really seems to "call it" is the (relative) youngster Spielberg.

For context, at the time of this interview "E.T." had been filmmed but not yet widely-released...

I can't decide if it's more spooky or LESS spooky that this prediction is coming to us courtesy the executive producer of "Transformers."

Big Picture: "Most Anticipated Movies of 2012"

2012-01-10T12:10:00.000-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : MovieBob's Most Anticipated Movies of 2012

George Clooney's Next Movie Could Be Monumentally Awesome

2012-01-09T22:48:00.000-05:00

"South Park" witticism aside, I've always thought that the "George Clooney is soooo smug!" thing is a little overstated and probably has less to do with his "attitude" and more to do with his actual accomplishments - he really is that good an actor, he really is also a damn good director, he really does have that good an eye for screenplays and he really is aging more gracefully than you probably will. Damn him.

In any case, he's setting up his next writer/director/star project; and it's one I've been waiting for: an adaptation of Robert M. Edsel's "The Monuments Men."

The so-called "Monuments Men" remain one of the great unsung stories of World War II heroism, and it's easy to see how their story appeals to Clooney's well-established aesthetic, topical and even socio-political sensibilities - it's period drama with a (potential) dash of action/adventure about the importance of preserving art and culture, whose heroes were primarily educators and intellectuals as opposed to "regular joe" men-of-action.

Officially formed in 1943 on the orders of General Eisenhower himself, the Monuments, Fine Arts & Archives Program of the Allied armies were set up on the premise that restoring (and preventing further destruction of) Europe's artistic and cultural heritage during the war was a vital component of the Allied efforts. Select groups of art historians, professors and other experts were dispatched to areas of conflict (often behind enemy lines and ahead of ground-troops) with orders to help hunt down and properly catalogue/return art-treasures stolen by the Nazis AND to ensure that priceless statues and architectural works were not seriously damaged in bombing raids. It's hard to imagine such an effort being mounted today - the outcry from both the culture-hating Tea Party ("wasteful spending!! only ELITES care about art!!!") and likely also a good deal of the Left ("Save people, not paintings!!!") would be defening.

Clooney's film will apparently focus on the hunt for stolen/looted artworks in Nazi strongholds following D-Day, but I'd hope they squeeze in some of the combat-period scenarios: One of the MFAA's most dramatic successes was the re-taking of Florence - where precision-mapmaking by Monuments Men experts allowed Allied planes to bomb the Nazi occupation-forces into submission while avoiding damage to a remarkable number of priceless buildings, statues, frescos, etc. This was actually a subtle plot-point in "Inglorious Basterds" - we learn, during the Nazi propaganda movie about his actions, that Frederick Zoeller (the seemingly-sympathetic German sniper) was able to maintain his position because the American general had been ordered not to destroy the famous tower which he (Zoeller) was using as a sniper's-nest.

Tim Burton and Robert Downey Jr. Team For "Pinocchio" Reboot?

2012-01-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

We may be nearing a truce in the epic battle between Tim Burton and Robert Downey Jr. over which of them can make the least-interesting mid-period career choices; as the two titans of the "Guys We Like Despite MOST Of What They Make" cinema are poised to team for a live-action "reimagining" of "Pinocchio."

The proposed project is currently called "Gepetto," and would be partially a prequel detailing the origin-story (sigh...) of the puppeteer and partially a side-story explaining what kind of adventures Gepetto was having in between starting his search for Pinocchio and winding up in the belly of a whale/sea-monster/whatever.

Downey would play Gepetto. No word yet on which roles will innevitably go to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter - the easy guesses being Pinocchio (or Jimminy Cricket!) and the Blue Fairy, respectively - though I believe it's based on a "Black List" screenplay called "The Three Misfortunes of Gepetto" which, if so, gave him a love-interest named Julia Moon.

Eve if you take away the "Burton-ized fairytale" thing, this feels tired - another Tim Burton fantasy about estranged father/son relationships? Granted, this'll be the first time he's approached it from the older-party's point of view, but still...

Somebody Said My Name On a Thing

2012-01-09T18:30:00.000-05:00

The ever-amusing Indoor Kids had the great Film Crit Hulk on their most-recent podcast, and he graciously gave me a mention at the start of some "Arkham City" discussion. Have a listen HERE.

Why Don't Republicans Want YOU To See a Movie About Killing Osama Bin Laden?

2012-01-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, it's possible for something to be so shamelessly, tranparently cynical that even I'm impressed.

Blustering bigot congressman Peter King has been leading the charge to use trumped-up accusations of Pentagon-leakage impropriety to taint the impending release of Kathryn Bigelow's tentatively-titled "Kill Bin Laden" movie (summary of charges: the filmmakers may have had access to details about the mission earlier than non-military personel were supposed to) and is now bragging about having prodded the Department of Defense to investigate the matter.

You don't need to be particularly politics-saavy to grasp what's at work here: Of all the things tangible or otherwise that the Republican Party hates, one of the most potent is the fact that the mastermind behind 9/11 got his ticket punched on Obama's watch. No impending 2012 campaign commercial strikes as much terror into their hearts as the ones that will feature Obama's circa-2008 "we will capture and kill" declaration, followed by right-wing pundits and talking heads snarking about it, followed by last year's "we got him!" press conference... and they REALLY don't want movie trailers for what amounts to "We Got Him: The Movie!" running all over the place, either. So they're flailing around madly in search of a way to discredit it.

It's particularly galling to see the wastes of humanity at Breitbart's madhouse creaming themselves over the prospect. I watched that gaggle of goons pontificate for eight years about how there weren't enough present-set heroic-military movies getting made, and now that the ULTIMATE "happy ending" War on Terror movie has the green light they HAVE to come out against it... because it MIGHT make their arch-nemesis look good.

Escape to the Movies: "The Artist"

2012-01-06T23:23:00.000-05:00

I knew I forgot to do something today...

"Intermission" is a new version of "Quit It."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Artist

The Oscars Have a Trailer

2012-01-06T02:25:00.000-05:00

And now, a not-terribly-funny commercial announcing the return of Billy Crystal as host of this year's Academy Awards to anyone mercifully-detached enough from entertainment news so as to NOT already be aware that he'd been brought in to salvage the show after the originally-planned Bret Ratner/Eddie Murphy production blew up in everybody's faces - which, come to think of it, is exactly the audience Crystal's return will thrill the most, so... good call, I guess:

I know, I know, it's trite to bag on Crystal. I actually like the guy as an actor, and he IS good at the "your gracious host" schtick... at least, as good as anyone is.

Come to think of it... anyone else think maybe Crystal overshot his true calling? I mean, it felt like in the 90s he stopped doing standup and transitioned out of regular host-type gigs in a bid to become a Tom Hanks style comedy/drama leading man and it didn't really "take" outside of the first "City Slickers." I wonder if he wouldn't have been better off (to say nothing of better-suited) to getting into something like the Late Night Talk scene? Like, imagine if Billy Crystal had become the host of The Tonight Show instead of Leno? Or, better yet, if Letterman had gotten the Tonight Show like he ought to have and Crystal got the competing (and more-appropriately New York-based) Late Show instead? He would have KILLED at that!

Have One Last Funny XMas Thingee

2012-01-05T04:22:00.001-05:00

The Nostalgia Critic (whom you should all be watching anyway - hardworking dude doing great material) got hit by some computer issues in the midst of his December shows, but has now finished airing his run of planned XMas episodes anyway with a review of one of my all-time favorite "WTF?" cult-classics: "Santa Claus: The Movie."

Give it a watch before you put the last of your lights and such away ;)

I Am On A Podcast And You Should Listen To It

2012-01-04T17:52:00.000-05:00

I'm on the Media Sandwich podcast with Chris and Kyle today; which you should be listening to anyway but especially now:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/media-sandwich/5182-Media-Sandwich-Episode-3

Here's Where MovieBob Will Be at ARISIA 2012

2012-01-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

As mentioned before, I'm scheduled to be at the Boston Area scifi convention ARISIA 2012 the weekend of January 13 - 16 at the Westin Boston Waterfront. Here's a quick rundown of panels/events (preliminary) where I'm schedule to appear (whole schedule available HERE)

Friday 5:30 PM - "E.T. at 30."
Friday 7:00 PM - "The Future of Bioethics as Portrayed in Film"
Friday 8:30 PM - "Batman Through the Ages"
Friday 10:00 PM - "More Terrible SF/F Movies We Love"

Saturday 10:00 AM - "Gender and Video Games"
Saturday 1:00 PM - "Monsters in Motion: Harryhausen at Work"
Saturday 4:00 PM - "If You Liked Part 1..."
Saturday 10:00 PM - "The Death of PC Gaming May Be Greatly Exaggerated"

Sunday 1:00 PM - "Wonder Woman"
Sunday 10:00 PM - "Marvel Movies"

Monday 10:00 AM - "Star Wars at 35"
Monday 11:30 AM - "MST3K: The Panel"
Monday 1:00 PM - "The Alien as Metaphor"

Vox To Launch Gaming Site

2012-01-04T14:07:00.000-05:00

Big news from the world of games journalism today, as Vox Media (the folks behind The Verge) have announced the launch of a gaming news site. To start with, they've hired up a murderer's-row of established industry talent: Chris Grant (formerly of Joystiq), Justin McElroy (Joystiq), Brian Crecente (Kotaku), Russ Pitts (The Escapist), Chris Plante, Russ Frushtick, Arthur Gies and Griffin McElroy.

Russ Pitts I know personally - he's one of the people who helped pluck your's truly out of YouTube obscurity and was a key figure in shaping Escape to The Movies and The Big Picture. Just wanted to toss he and his new compatriots some extra promotion. Good luck, guys!

Big Picture: "MovieBob's 2011 Top Ten"

2012-01-03T19:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry this didn't get up earlier. Busy week, already...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : MovieBob's 2011 Top Ten

Sacriledge

2012-01-03T01:39:00.000-05:00

I'm no great fan of "Moulin Rouge," but of all the things I despised about that movie the one criticism I never quite "got" was that it had committed some kind of capitol offense by reconfiguring various pop/classic-rock anthems into cheeky Broadway-style ballads.

Well, if you DID feel violated those particular covers, it's safe to say you are not the audience for "Rock of Ages;" Adam "Hairspray" Shankman's movie version of the popular "jukebox musical" that repurposes a laundry-list of 1980s Cock Rock (re: "Hair Metal") into your basic young-lovers-with-dreams Broadway crowd-pleaser with an on-and-off "self aware" streak (our female lead's name is "Sherrie Christian," to give you an idea where this is shooting from.)

The thrust of the story involves the owners/patrons/etc of an infamous LA rock bar trying to stop an evil developer's plan to "clean up" the Sunset Strip by getting a soon-to-break-up super-band to play their farewell show at said bar; as experienced by a busboy and a waitress with dreams of rock/acting stardom of their own.

The big stunt-casting is Tom Cruise as the Axl Rose/Brett Michaels hybrid who fronts the main band; which is kind of inspired - comedy, particularly self-parody, is the only thing that seems to bring real energy out of Cruise anymore, and he's every bit the weirdly-ageless Reagan-era relic as the songs (particularly "Wanted Dead or Alive") he'll be singing.

"Upside Down" Trailer

2012-01-03T01:04:00.000-05:00

Happy New Stuff!

Do you enjoy science-fiction movies that employ an elaborate visual-effect and/or worldbuilding-conceit to make a really, really heavy-handed societal point? Then you'll want to reserve your seat for "Upside Down," a French-produced English-language film with Jim Sturgess and Kirsten Dunst as star-crossed lovers inhabiting a pair of alternate worlds seperated not by dimension but by gravity - his world is essentially the "floor" below her's which is the reverse-gravity "ceiling" above his. Are you wondering if "above world" is ostensibly wealthy-looking while "below world" is working-class? How'd you guess?

Escape to the Movies: "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"

2011-12-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

Liked it, didn't love it.

"Intermission" does the year look-back thing.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

American Classic Arcade Museum Seeks Your Help!

2011-12-29T17:54:00.000-05:00

hat-tip: Kotaku.

The American Classic Arcade Museum is seeking donations to aquire several rare classic arcade machines - including Discs of Tron! - from a private collector. I've made a donation, and I encourage any readers who are able/willing to do the same. Read on past the jump for details.

The American Classic Arcade Museum (ACAM) is located within a famous New Hampshire family entertainment complex called "The Funspot," which many of you may have seen in the film "King of Kong." While "Funspot" itself is a business, the ACAM is a registered nonprofit operation dedicated to not only collecting vintage arcade machines but also preserving them to be played by "Funspot" visitors. A private collector has offered to sell them five classic game machines that would be "new" to their collection - Space Dungeon, Mad Planets, Discs of Tron and Black Widow - and ACAM is asking for donations to raise the $1,840.00 needed to purchase the lot on their main website page via the "chip-in" widget.

Some of the happiest memories I have are of going to The Funspot during yearly family vacations to the NH area. The "museum" concept is relatively new, a response to the place's newfound prominence at the start of the Retro-Gaming boom - for the longest time they were simply a place that chose to keep their HUGE collection of game machines in working order rather than junking them for new ones. As a result, they have one of the BEST collections of vintage games - many of them extremely rare (they have a standup "Chiller" cabinet!) - that you can visit and play.

They have not asked me to post this information on these blogs - I am doing so to give back to both a good cause and a specific organization that has brought me a lot of good times over the years. I encourage any fans, readers etc. with a few bucks to spare to considering kicking some their way. The amount they're trying to raise is not very high, and you'll not only be supporting the good cause of classic game preservation - you'll be helping these games be placed in a REAL arcade where they can be rediscovered and enjoyed by new generations of gamers who might otherwise never have the chance.

Here is the link once again. My sincerest thanks to everyone who chips in, and to Funspot/ACAM for doing what they do. I'm planning to visit the place again this Summer, and it sure would be a kick to take a turn at that Discs of Tron machine when I do.

Told You So

2011-12-28T04:11:00.000-05:00

So... yeah, after doing two episodes about "The Simpsons" still being funny, I realized I hadn't actually watched this year's Xmas episode, so I did. Fox made it available HERE on their website, though I watched it On Demand.

It's another "possible future" episode, this one set in a timeline where Bart and Lisa both grow up to be parents themselves. To my mind, it's easily one of the best episodes I've seen in awhile - good enough to have been a Season 5 or 6 episode (or at least a current installment of Futurama.) Seriously, give it a watch. (SPOILERS after the jump.)

SPOILERS:

This is the first "future" episode where Homer and Marge actually seem to have personality changes beyond "older" - Marge has a shorter temper and seems a touch jaded, while Homer is sober(!!!) and seemingly more intelligent and good-natured as result. I like that.

Running joke about Dearborn, Michigan is edgy as hell by Simpsons standards, to the point where it verged on being out of place. But yeah, I laughed.

So, at least according to this timeline, Lisa Simpson is bisexual as a grownup. I like that the "reveal" passes without comment, but it runs one extra beat so you can tell they wanted you to catch it. I know a few BIG fans of Lisa who I can picture turning cartwheels at this... and also a few desperate continuity-obsessives who'll be furious that this contradicts the character in the "President Lisa" timeline's claim to being "the first straight female president.

This is the first "Simpsons Future" I can say I'd be legitimately interested in seeing them revisit. In particular, I'd LOVE to know the story behind the blink-and-you'll-miss-it detail as to the fate of a certain ex-Krusty Sidekick - I feel like it must have been either Bart or Homer who finally did the deed, but I can't decide which would be more awesome (leaning toward Homer.)

Big Picture: "The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Part II"

2011-12-27T13:32:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The Simpsons Is Still Funny, Part 2

Escape to the Movies: "War Horse"

2011-12-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays.

"Intermission" is about the Batman Trailer.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : War Horse

History

2011-12-22T01:07:00.000-05:00

As part of a longstanding tradition, U.S. Navy ships will - upon returning home - select a sailor to descend to the dock ahead of the others and share the first "homecoming" kiss with their significant other (and, one presumes, with new photographers looking to take "their version" of the famous V-Day photo.)

On December 21st of this year, said tradition once again became part of history as - for the first time ever - an "official" first-kiss was shared by a same-sex couple:

PHOTO: Brian Clark, The Virginian-Pilot

The lucky couple in question are Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta and Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell. Gaeta (in the hat) was the returnee, having purchased $50 worth of tickets in her ship's (The USS Oak Hill) charity raffle where the honor was the prize.

Photo is credited to one Brian Clark of The Virginian-Pilot. I hope his contract let's him retain some rights to it so he can get a cut of the royalties as this almost-certainly winds up in history books, newsreels and museum displays from now until the forseeable future.

The Greatest Adventure Is What Lies Ahead

2011-12-20T23:25:00.000-05:00

Fuck. Yes.

Ten years ago, the "Lord of The Rings" movies stepped into both a blockbuster-filmmaking realm and a movie-geek culture realm - both of which hurting in the wake of "The Phantom Menace" debacle - and completely rewrote the book. I don't think that's exaggerating - I firmly believe that the "21st Century Model" of film-geekdom begins with this series, which took every concievable creative and financial risk and paid them off with a singular filmmaking achievement that in my mind has yet to be equalled.

...and now we get to go back.

Ye gods... hearing that Howard Shore score kick back up on the soundtrack... seeing The Shire again... it feels like coming home. This is, literally, the LEAST stressed I have felt all December.

This, my friends, is THE movie of 2012 as far as I'm concerned. Batman? Small potatoes. Avengers? Slightly-prettier small potatoes. Spider-Man? Don't even start.

Here's That Batman Trailer

2011-12-20T22:42:00.000-05:00

Somehow or another I forgot to post this in the wake of every other website on Earth posting it. Here we go.

I'll have more in-depth things to say in the near future, but for now Four things stand out: The football thing is cool, but looks like it belongs in a Michael Bay movie. I like the plane. Catwoman: Professor of Socio-Economic Philosophy isn't working for me. Bane... remains a complete, baffling mystery. Why go with such a lousy character, AND give him such a silly (in a bad way) look, and now that ridiculous voice?

Big Picture: "The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Part I"

2011-12-20T14:34:00.002-05:00

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The Simpsons Is Still Funny - Pt. 1

"Wrath of The Titans" Will Probably Sucker You In, Again

2011-12-19T18:06:00.000-05:00

I didn't dislike "Clash of The Titans," but I also don't remember hardly any of it. In any case, even though no one seems to have really "loved" it it managed to make a MASSIVE international profit theatrically; so Warner Bros. made another one.

The trailer is selling "monsters, monsters and more monsters;" and I wish I wasn't such an easy lay for this stuff: Show me a Cyclops (and guy made of lava, and what I think is a gryphon) and I've pretty-much bought a ticket. Oh well...

Kim Jong Il is Dead

2011-12-18T22:58:00.000-05:00

Reports are still coming in, but the title says it all: North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, one of the worst and most brutal dictators on Earth, is dead tonight.

Power will almost-certainly pass, however symbolically, to his son Kim Jong Un - who is reputed to be either legitimately insane, mentally-impaired or both - though it's almost a foregone conclusion that the myriad military/government officials who're alleged to have been the real operators during the elder Kim's dotage (he's been in failing health for years) will be vying to either take power themselves OR get the hell out of dodge with whatever they can carry in the event that the house of cards collapses entirely.

I feel more than a little crass doing to the "blah blah something HUGELY important happened somewhere that's not America... but here's how it will effect America!" hard-segue, but this is really the only thing definite you can say about this right now: Any illusions that Barack Obama or his various would-be Republican challengers may have had that with Iraq "finished" and Afghanistan winding down this would be a strictly meat-and-potatoes "domestic issues" presidential election just evaporated. If you are the "China Policy Advisor" to an American politician, you are very likely about to learn that you are working this Christmas.

Here's the situation: Setting aside the very real long-held concerns that Kim Jong Un (who is essentially a mystery - no one even knows how OLD he actually is outside of the NK government) will not have the official loyalty or ability to hold the system together; this is almost certain to cause a significant amount "rumbling" in the nation itself, which will be most-directly felt at it's borders with China and South Korea (the former of which is seperated by a demilitarized zone patroled by U.S. forces) both of whom will be looking to their American allies to help out (or, in China's case, "back off") with management of what could be a 'failed state' crisis at their respective borders. Here's to hoping things don't get too much worse for North Korea's impoverished citizens, in any case.

Place your bets now as to which GOP Presidential candidate will have the dumbest thing to say about this tomorrow morning.

Green Goblin Makeup Test Appears Online

2011-12-16T14:51:00.000-05:00

Below, test-footage of an unused makeup-concept for Willem Dafoe's "Green Goblin" makeup (before they went with the mechanical helmet design instead) by ADI. Left unsaid is whether this was intended to be a (very) elaborate rubber mask like in the comics or some kind of full-on physical transformation...

Characters like this go through LOTS of designs on their way to the screen, and it's not unusual at all to see full-functioning suits, appliances and props being made to test them out. The reason you very seldom SEE any of them is that the studio/license-holder owns the rights to the character AND the work and usually doesn't want them shown for one reason or another.

So why would you be seeing it now? Probably no reason. Maybe because Sony is testing the waters for what GG should look like when he innevitably turns up in the rebooted series? Who knows.

Escape to the Movies: "The Adventures of Tintin"

2011-12-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

Very, very good.

Wondering where my feelings on the (extremely mediocre) "Mission: Impossible" and (shockingly terrible) "Sherlock Holmes" sequels are? Right here...

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Adventures of Tin TIn

Extended Teaser For "Expendables 2"

2011-12-16T04:13:00.000-05:00

Better? Worse? I dunno...

Big Picture: "If The Oscars Were The VGAs"

2011-12-13T13:02:00.003-05:00

What if Hollywood's big award show sucked as much as gaming's?

The Escapist : The Big Picture : If the Oscars Were the VGAs

Cobra Commander Looks Like Cobra Commander

2011-12-13T00:18:00.000-05:00

I'm "that guy" who really liked Stephen Sommers' first "G.I. Joe" movie. Yeah, it was far from perfect - mostly thanks to having been a "strike script" victim - but from where I sat it more-or-less delivered a faithful-in-tone adaptation of the animated series and comics (read: aggressively silly scifi-military nonsense as-envisioned by 8-year olds playing with action figures) and I maintain that most of the excessively-negative reactions would've been greatly reduced if it had been the same movie but with more source-accurate costuming...

...which more or less seems to be what the out-of-nowhere AWESOME debut trailer for the sequel, "G.I. Joe: Retaliation," is offering:

The new director is John M. Chu, who's mostly made dance and concert movies up to this point. At some point he'd made some noise about this one going "dark and gritty," but this looks like anything but: It's the same basic look and feel as the first one, just with bigger action heroes in the cast (The Rock is "RoadBlock," who is apparently our new lead, while Bruce Willis is supposedly playing a retired soldier named "Joe" from whom the organization derives it's name) and characters like Cobra Commander, Snake Eyes and Jinx (Jinx? For real?) looking more like they're "supposed to." But does that make it look "better?"

...Yeah, kinda. I'll admit it: Seeing Cobra Commander in the blue uniform with the mirrored-faceplate is all kinds of awesome, I'm always a sucker for color-coded ninjas and the 'money shot' of the Cobra Flag flying over the White House is sort of incredible.

I wonder how "seriously" to take the storyline implications in this particular trailer, though - are they really so committed to the "sorry about the last one" angle that they'll kill off everyone from the first one except Snake Eyes, which is what the trailer is implying?